I would like to preface this little article by saying I am in no way a "good" critic. I am overly opinionated and biased. Also, I didn't see THAT many movies this year, so when I say "The Best and Worst of 2009" it is more like "The Movies Chess Loved and Hated in 2009". Also, I am no cinephile. Yes, I appreciate artsy films from time to time, but I am not a fan of watching a film just because it is shocking or deliberately hard to watch. Anyway, here it goes...read on my friends, read on...

THE BEST of 2009



The Fantastic Mr. Fox
Now this movie had a huge advantage from the beginning since it is based on a Roald Dahl story and Roald Dahl is a friggin' genius. That being said, the movie doesn't stick too closely to Dahl's story, but makes up for it with its amazing animation that is a nothing short of a visual feast. I am not the biggest Wes Anderson fan, but this movie blew me away. Never a dull moment and full of laughs and love, The Fantastic Mr. Fox mesmerizes. I was also surprised at the celebrity voices being as good as they were. I am generally not a fan of celebrity actors voicing animated films (leave it to real voice actors, please, ahem Claire Danes and Cameron Diaz), but George Clooney was perfect voicing Mr. Fox. Maybe he'll stick to voicing animated animals and drop all his annoying political antics that he shoves down people's throats. Here's hoping.



The Hangover
People often overlook how goddamn hard it is to make a really good comedy. There are so very few out there, especially in recent years. Yes, Adam Sandler's idiot movies can be entertaining from time to time and we all love some of Will Ferrell's movies, but, like Old School, The Hangover's main strength is its cast. The entire cast is on point and has amazing chemistry. There is no one actor that carries the movie (cough, Jim Carrey, cough) but it is truly a group effort. Also, Zach Galifianakis finally gets the recognition he deserves for being one of the funniest people that exists today. It might not be a cinematic masterpiece, but I am sure I will watch this a hell of a lot more than Citizen Kane.



Ponyo
Hayao Miyazaki is God's gift to anime. There isn't a movie he has done that I don't like! Now Ponyo is not as deep or riveting as some of his other movies, but the animation and visuals are the best he has done yet. A love story aimed at a younger audience, Studio Ghibli has shifted gears from its normal and perhaps less accessable formula to create something lighter but still poignant. The characters are human with strengths and weaknesses, but presented in a subtle almost gentle way, something western animators have had a hard time capturing. Truly a gem.



Precious
There was a lot of hype surrounding this movie. Whenever Oprah is involved you are almost forced to approve of what she is selling, but believe the hype. The subject matter in this movie is not for the faint of heart, but the director, instead of making it purely serious and somber, took an interesting approach to tackling the material. There are definite comedic instances and daydream interludes that are interjected throughout the movie, which serve as a necessary relief at times for the viewer. The cast is phenomenal. Monique, a person I knew only as a VH1 reality host before this, is powerful to say the least and even Mariah Carey, who is barely recognizable, holds her own. This movie, although ridden with tragedy, instills hope and inspiration to those that see it. Well done Oprah and Tyler Perry, well done.



District 9
I saw this movie three times in the theatre. Now I am a sci-fi nut and nothing gets me more excited than a good alien movie. I am so glad the Halo movie was scrapped and what came out of that fiasco was this great movie. With a great cast of talented no-names and amazing CGI and design for the aliens, this movie is both a social commentary and a beautiful love story. Definitely my favorite movie of 2009.

THE WORST of 2009



Jennifer's Body
Now I might be one of the few people that thought Juno was the most overrated movie since Garden State, but at least Juno had a great cast (Jennifer Garner's performance was totally underrated IMHO). Diablo Cody's writing is sophomoric to say the least and so goddamn forced. The Academy can go f%#k itself for giving her an academy award. In all honesty, I didn't see this movie, but from what I heard, Megan Fox can't act her way out of a cardboard box. So bad acting plus cheesey writing? No thanks. Megan Fox is drop dead gorgeous, yes, but she should become a Victoria's Secret Angel and take her clothes off and leave acting to professionals. Too often pretty girls with no acting skills get swept up by Hollywood and ruin movies. Gone are the days of Elizabeth Taylor and Vivian Leigh who were both beautiful AND classically trained.



He's Just Not That Into You
Shame on all the great actresses that took part in this movie. Again, I didn't need to see this movie to know that it was a gigantic turd. The book that this was based on probably set women back 10 years alone. Guess what? If you can't tell if a guy is into you or not, you have far greater problems than being single. STFU.



Terminator Salvation
This wasn't the worst movie, but the fact that it should have been a lot better and could have been a lot better makes it even more tragic. Great performance by Sam Worthington and some nice action sequences, but Lord forgive Christian Bale for his awful wooden performance. Bale has become a parody of himself. Once a great actor, Bale is now permanently the action hero Batman and sadly not the once great Bateman. There is no depth or even effort on his part in this movie. Public Enemies was also supposedly ruined by a similarly stiff, nay, rigor mortis like performance.



Angels & Demons
If it wasn't for Ewan McGregor, I would have walked out on this movie. Terrible. Utterly terrible. I don't really have anything clever to say about this one.



G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra
When Marlon Wayans looks like an amazing actor in comparison, you know you have a wretched cast. Sienna Miller, who I thought was some decent indie actress, made me want to die and Dennis Quaid, who generally doesn't bother me, was laughable at best. The CGI looked fake and the action was not even that great. I watched an hour of this while waiting to see District 9 for the second time. That hour seemed like eternity. Sienna should stick to banging married men and Hollywood should learn that making movies based on a beloved toy franchise is always a mistake. Way to ruin G.I. Joe, assholes.

Movies I wish I had seen, or that pleasantly surprised me...


I really still need to see Avatar since James Cameron plus Sigourney Weaver = AWESOME. I missed both Inglourious Basterds and Zombieland while they were in theatres and really think I will like both of them. As for Drag Me to Hell, it turned out to be a top notch horror movie with a great ending. The Proposal, surprisingly enough, was pretty damn funny for a romantic comedy (and I generally hate all romantic comedies) thanks to the great chemistry between Ryan Reynolds and my guilty pleasure actress Sandra Bullock with a great supporting cast including Betty White and Oscar Nunez. Both are worth renting.