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Entries in PC (3)



Cuphead | Xbox One / PC
Released: September 29, 2017
Developer: Studio MDHR
Grade: 5 out of 5 meatballs
Reviewed by: Pawl Schwartz

Cuphead is the story of a 1930s style cartoon that is Mickey Mouse from the neck down, and a tea cup from the neck up. As Cuphead, you and your pal Mugman hit up the casinos one night and get caught up in a simple game of dice with Satan (you know, normal everyday stuff). You, of course, lose everything and end up in debt to Satan, which is a terrible place to be. In order to be released from this debt, you have to use your magical snappy fingers to shoot at and defeat different cartoon beings to collect their souls and return them to Satan. Don’t worry, they all sold their souls willingly and contractually; Satan is just making you do the hard work to collect them, which is quite far from easy.

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Doom | PS4
Released: May 13th 2016
Developer/Publisher: Bethesda
Grade: 5 out of 5 meatballs
Reviewed by: Pawl Schwartz

is a game that deserves the self-titled reboot, which, when dealing with a game as historic and genre-changing as the Doom franchise, is saying a whole hell of a lot. It’s a name older and bigger than Half-Life, that actually delivers sequels at a slow but steady pace, putting so much work and industrial-love into each edition that we never have to worry about a Duke Nukem Forever type situation happening, despite id Software’s long and messy history.

Everything about Doom is just so viscerally loud, violent, and smooth, all delivered with that un-nameable Doom-ness about it, updated quite perfectly from the graphical hell that the original game looks like nowadays.

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Shadow Warrior

Shadow Warrior | Steam
Released: September 26th, 2013 (reviewed January 2014)
Developer/Publisher: Flying Wild Hog/Devolver Digital
Grade: 5 out of 5 meatballs
Reviewed by: Pawl Schwartz

I almost shat my pants when I saw that Shadow Warrior had been remade. I have fond memories of playing the near-Doom era FPS classic in which you are ninja extraordinaire Lo Wang. It had the sense of humor of Duke Nukem 3D plus secret rooms full of pixelated porn. I still remember where most all of them are (first level: go inside past the bunnies, open the round door and find a naked anime girl on the toilet — she shoots at you if you stare too long). But the days of using the arrow keys to move and look around are long gone for FPS games. Duke Nukem’s long-awaited foray into the next gen turned out to be an over-processed turd. Why would I expect Lo Wang to update well? Precisely because there is no large public expectation for the game, there is just a lot of room to grow.

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