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Entries in Xbox One (4)



Cuphead | Xbox One / PC
Released: September 29, 2017
Developer: Studio MDHR
Grade: 5 out of 5 meatballs
Reviewed by: Pawl Schwartz

Cuphead is the story of a 1930s style cartoon that is Mickey Mouse from the neck down, and a tea cup from the neck up. As Cuphead, you and your pal Mugman hit up the casinos one night and get caught up in a simple game of dice with Satan (you know, normal everyday stuff). You, of course, lose everything and end up in debt to Satan, which is a terrible place to be. In order to be released from this debt, you have to use your magical snappy fingers to shoot at and defeat different cartoon beings to collect their souls and return them to Satan. Don’t worry, they all sold their souls willingly and contractually; Satan is just making you do the hard work to collect them, which is quite far from easy.

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Doom | PS4
Released: May 13th 2016
Developer/Publisher: Bethesda
Grade: 5 out of 5 meatballs
Reviewed by: Pawl Schwartz

is a game that deserves the self-titled reboot, which, when dealing with a game as historic and genre-changing as the Doom franchise, is saying a whole hell of a lot. It’s a name older and bigger than Half-Life, that actually delivers sequels at a slow but steady pace, putting so much work and industrial-love into each edition that we never have to worry about a Duke Nukem Forever type situation happening, despite id Software’s long and messy history.

Everything about Doom is just so viscerally loud, violent, and smooth, all delivered with that un-nameable Doom-ness about it, updated quite perfectly from the graphical hell that the original game looks like nowadays.

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Mortal Kombat X

Mortal Kombat X | PS4/PS3 & Xbox 360 (soon)/Xbox One
Released: April 14th, 2015
Developer/Publisher: NetherRealm/Warner Brothers
Grade: 5 out of 5 meatballs
Reviewed by: Pawl Schwartz

It's hard to believe that many years ago this franchise actually survived a bloodless release on Super Nintendo. Simply view the screenshots for the slap happy level of carnage that Mortal Kombat X serves up. Medical students wouldn't be wrong to call a night with this game “studying musculature,” with all of the beautifully rendered X-ray moves.

If you have ever been addicted to a video game (and as a gamer reading this article, I assume that has happened to you, the same way any reader has experienced that crack-like "page turning effect" when reading a good book), you will be severely addicted to this game. It is as simple as that.

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Destiny | PS4/PS3 Xbox 360/Xbox One
Released: Sept 9th, 2014
Developer/Publisher: Bungie/Activision & Sony
Grade: 2.75 out of 5 meatballs
Reviewed by: Pawl Schwartz

Frankly, I’m pissed. After ten minutes of research online, I have determined that I have, in fact, beaten the highly anticipated video game known as Destiny. I downloaded it five days ago, and it’s already over. Epic? More like a gorgeous two-pump-chump as it stands now.

It was all roses and puppy dogs back at level ten. I had my four or five planets open as locations to travel to in order to do missions, and I never saw anyone over level 25 (this was early into the release). “Oh,” I think to myself, “another area must open up after level 25” because, if I was already at level 10 after a good solid sitting of play, 25 couldn’t be the end.

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